Bereavement-5 tips to help you pull through

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The tragedy of bereavement is never going to be easy to deal with. Probably one of the most difficult things to cope with is that while your world feels like it has been blown apart, life goes on for everyone else. There is no right or wrong way to handle losing a loved one and what works for some may not work for others. Below are some tips which have helped me to pull through the loss of those close to me, so you too may find them useful;

Allow yourself time to grieve

Grieving is a natural part of the process. There are no set guidelines on how long you should grieve for. If you go to school, college or work full time, rushing back too soon may compound your stress. This could eventually lead to you being off for longer. If you need to take a break from your day- to- day routine then do so. Most employers have policies to support you with this but if not, your doctor will be able to help. In contrast you might find that keeping yourself busy is more effective for you.
Grief can be a rollercoaster. Often you will be fine for a period of time and then you will have a day or two where you’re missing your loved one and feel really low before feeling better again. In all honesty the grieving process may never end but you will find better ways to deal with it. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself to get back to “normal” and take each day as it comes.

Remember the good times

Talk about your loved one as frequently as you feel with family and friends. Keeping their memory alive can often make you feel better. You may wish to visit their memorial on milestones or when you feel like being close to them. Some people prefer not to visit the memorial often as they don’t find it comforting. This doesn’t mean you miss them any less. Do what’s right for you.

Think about what they would want you to achieve
Sometimes when you lose someone close to you, it can feel like life has lost some meaning and you may feel like giving up. One of the main things which can help you to pull through is remembering that your loved one would want you to be happy and would want to know that you achieved the things you set out to do in life. Draw strength from this as it will help you to keep pushing on.

I remember when my mum passed away, I felt like I wanted to escape. So that’s what I did… I started running. It’s no secret that exercise is good for us but it can also be really therapeutic. Whilst running may not be your thing, you might consider picking up an alternative such as yoga or even just walking. Exercising will help you to work through the range of emotions you are experiencing.

Talk to someone

Bottling up your feelings is never healthy in any situation. If you are feeling low, confide in a friend or family member. You may also consider talking to an independent professional as they may be able to offer you a different insight or perspective. If you are in education, you can find out if there is a counsellor who is attached to your school, college or University who you can talk to . Similarly if you’re working, many employers run an employees assistance programme which you will be able to tap into. Alternatively, you can speak to your doctor who will be able help or refer you on to a specialist.

It’s never easy moving on after losing someone close to you but just remember that they would want nothing more than to see you enjoying yourself and living life to the fullest.

As always thanks for reading





  1. Bertha
    November 1, 2017 / 11:04 pm

    Such a beautiful post. ❤️

    • cmalamode
      November 1, 2017 / 11:08 pm

      thanks you so much doll x

    • Davina
      November 3, 2017 / 5:18 pm

      Lovely and very touching. Luv D xxx

      • cmalamode
        November 3, 2017 / 6:46 pm

        Thanks so much for reading xx

  2. Patricia
    November 2, 2017 / 4:24 am

    Nice, positive, helpful, encouraging article, easy read – thanks Hun!

    • cmalamode
      November 2, 2017 / 6:59 am

      Thank you for reading supporting and commenting on my posts Patty cakes. I really appreciate it

  3. November 2, 2017 / 4:36 am

    Bless up sis. Mum would be so proud of you right now.xx

    • cmalamode
      November 2, 2017 / 6:58 am

      Thanks B and thanks for reading xxx

  4. Kaira
    November 2, 2017 / 7:48 am

    #proud. It’s never easy but what you have done here could help many.

    • cmalamode
      November 2, 2017 / 7:59 am

      Thanks K x

  5. Dee
    November 2, 2017 / 9:10 am

    Well written as you do 🙂 but very helpful in many ways Dee xx

    • cmalamode
      November 2, 2017 / 9:11 am

      Thanks for reading. Means a lot😚

  6. Su Johal
    November 2, 2017 / 9:37 am

    Lovely post

    • cmalamode
      November 2, 2017 / 10:39 am

      Thanks for reading sissy

  7. November 2, 2017 / 11:40 am

    So proud and will help so many….well done hugs xx

    • cmalamode
      November 2, 2017 / 11:43 am

      Thanks for the suport as always lolly xx

  8. Jo Clarke
    November 2, 2017 / 1:08 pm

    Interesting topic…well said

    • cmalamode
      November 3, 2017 / 6:48 pm

      Thank you❤

  9. November 2, 2017 / 1:25 pm

    Very well written and positive read. Takes a lot to let people into your personal feelings ❤️

    • cmalamode
      November 3, 2017 / 6:44 pm

      Thanks cuz❤❤

  10. Andre
    November 2, 2017 / 1:26 pm

    Such an important post. The advice comes off so effective and comprehensive that I doubt anyone would not find this helpful. Well done Shan.

    • cmalamode
      November 3, 2017 / 6:45 pm

      Thanks so much for the feedack and for reading. It us very much appreciated

  11. Lynn Green
    November 2, 2017 / 4:58 pm

    Shanna, this is an amazing piece, maybe you should consider becoming a writer, or consider finishing Law School

  12. Isheka Ellis
    November 2, 2017 / 8:12 pm

    Shanna well done. Your mother would be so proud. I image the courage to do this not just for self but to support others too. 😚💪

    • cmalamode
      November 3, 2017 / 6:45 pm

      Thanks so much sheeks xxx

  13. Karen J
    November 2, 2017 / 8:20 pm

    Karen x

  14. Pat T.
    November 2, 2017 / 10:03 pm

    A very helpful and encouraging article.
    Thanks for sharing

    • cmalamode
      November 3, 2017 / 6:47 pm

      Hi Pat. Thanks for passing by and for your feedback. Very much appreciated xx

  15. November 5, 2017 / 7:06 am

    Well done Shanna, so proud of you. I will share this with a few friends who I am sure will find it usefully.

  16. Abeni
    November 12, 2017 / 8:04 pm

    Beautiful courage thank you for sharing Shan.❤

    • cmalamode
      November 12, 2017 / 8:09 pm

      Aww thank you hun xxx

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